submitted : 04/03/2008

Author : Satish City: Solihull

 

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ------ Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and .. Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it! ------ Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ------ Customer: I have problems printing in red... Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. ------ Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. ------ Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working. Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening... ------ Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! ------ Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? ------ A customer couldn't get on the internet. Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. ------ Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. ------ Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! ------ Helpdesk: Tech. Support, may I help you? Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? ------ Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it? ------ Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." Helpdesk: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Helpdesk: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." ------ Helpdesk: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours." Customer: "Is that Eastern time?" ------ Helpdesk: "Ok, now click your left mouse button." Customer: (silence)... "But I only have one mouse." ------